Schillinger’s Bear

I sometimes think. Okay, I think all the time.

I thought of a thought experiment, or, rather, a variation on one that already exists. I call it “Schillinger’s Bear”.

bear_box

Here’s how it works: There is a large box with a bear inside of it. It is stuffy and cruel inside the box, and you are a very nice person. You want to let the bear out, but you know that if you let, well, a fucking bear out of a stuffy, cruel box that you may get mauled by that bear. Maulings are scary and dangerous. Goddamned bears are scary and dangerous, man. But… but the poor bear.  The poor bear is trapped in the box and you are the only one who can do anything. Even if you do nothing, you are doing something by allowing the bear to die a nasty, stuffy, lonely death. What to do?

Somehow– by having a conversation with my buddy Ed about him trying to get his storage locker open– I have come up with a damned if you do, damned if you don’t moral dilemma which is no different than any other… except this one has a bear.

You’re welcome.

polar bear in a box

One way to apply Schillenger’s Bear is to the current situation concerning US action in Syria. Like the Onion article, all sorts of bears could be released. Angry bears. It doesn’t matter what happens, some large group of people will be pissed off, even if some people are saved. But hey, I could be wrong. I just wanted to use something popular from the current news cycle.

And yes, I named it after this guy.

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